04:15am--I'm working frantically to finish a scene in my new historical so I won't feel guilty about taking time off to go to the Merritt luncheon.
06:45am--The scene's done. Yay! Except I notice that I've actually written the scene in my also-in-progress Harlequin Intrigue file. Not good. My 19th century cowboy is about to get shot at by some thug with a high-powered semi-automatic weapon.
07:00am--Fix scene so I can take a shower and get ready for the luncheon. I'm still feeling guilty for taking time off from writing, but that's no surprise. I always feel guilty when I'm not writing. I blame this feeling on Catholicism and my mother's insistence that I become potty trained by eighteen months.
07:15am--Refix scene because Word messes up formatting when I cut and paste. Feeling of guilt is growing like a West Texas dust bunny. Why am I going to the luncheon anyway? I don't have an agent/editor appointment. I'm on this weird, funky diet to control my blood sugar so I probably won't be able to eat. And I need to finish at least one deadline so I don't feel as if I'm in the middle of a Prozac moment. So, why am I going, huh?
07:30am--Fix scene again for the last time. I hope. Curse Bill Gates for all the bugs in Word 2000. Hurry to the shower while there's still hot water. Tell myself that I shouldn't feel guilty for taking the time to go to a luncheon. But I do. I truly do.
08:00am--I dress. Spill coffee on the outfit. Change clothes. Then write a little more on the next scene because I'm starting to obsess about not writing.
09:00am--With visions of guilt-dom swirling in my head, I arrive at the luncheon. I'm greeted by Joni Hahn, Stacy Barnwell and Mary Fetcher. As usual, everyone is friendly and I remember why I belong to this group in the first place. They keep things in perspective and remind me that I need to be with other writers. I am not alone in this adventure. There are others, and they are smiling even though I know they have writing woes as well. I find myself smiling too.
09:30am--I should be writing. I should be writing. I should be writing. That thought won't stop going through my head. Then, I listen to Barbara Collins Rosenberg and hear what she has to say about the romance market. I learn a few things, take a few notes and again remember why I should come to these luncheons. Without information, I'll never learn this business. Hey, I might not learn it as it is, but at least this gives me a fighting chance.
10:30am--Susan Sheppard talks about the climate of the category market. I take more notes, learn a few more things. Maybe it's the thoughts of chocolate cake that I heard someone mention or maybe it's the wonderful group of women at my table, but I'm not feeling so guilty anymore. I'm actually starting to relax.
11:30am--During the lunch break I chat with a few authors. I learn why Dee Davis doesn't use exclamation marks! I chat with Julie Kenner about her latest book and learn some tips about how she pitched it to her editor. I hear Karen Whiddon talk about how she promoted her book. Jo-Ann Power clues me in about ARCs and other promotional tools. I frantically search for a piece of paper so I can write some of this stuff down. Yikes, what I know about this business would fit on the head of a pin.
12:45pm--The guilt has returned and it's not all writing related. I ate that piece of chocolate cake. Now, my blood sugar will soar, and I won't be able to write when I get home. I'm really starting to obsess when something amazing happens--I listen to Evelyn Roger's speech. She makes me remember why I started writing in the first place--because it's a way to express the music inside me. As I wipe some tears from my eyes and watch my fellow authors do the same, it hits me then. No, not guilt. Or even a sugar high from the chocolate cake. It occurs to me that I am a member of a very elite group. A group of authors connected because one way or another we're all trying to get our music heard. We all share the isolation, the hard work, the frustration, the successes. We are all teachers, and students. And I suddenly know why I should attend the Merritt luncheon. It isn't just to socialize with other authors or to hear expert opinions about the business. It isn't even so I can eat food I'm not suppose to eat. I'm here because I need to be here. It feeds my writer's soul in a way that chocolate cake or even writing could never do. Talk about an epiphany.
5:15pm--Put on calendar to attend next year's Merritt luncheon. And this time, I won't feel guilty.
Imagine a family tree that includes Texas cowboys, Choctaw and Cherokee Indians, a Louisiana pirate, and a Scottish rebel who battled side by side with William Wallace. With ancestors like that, it's easy to understand why Texas author and former Air Force captain Delores Fossen feels as if she were genetically predisposed to writing romances. Along the way to fulfilling her DNA destiny, she married an USAF Top Gun who just happens to be of Viking descent. With all those romantic bases covered, she doesn't have to look too far for inspiration. Her latest book, Saddled, is a June 2001 Love Spell release for A Wink and A Kiss.
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