I'm not published. I don't even pretend to be close. Well, maybe I pretend. I have a lot of confidence in my work and I know that it's not going to sell. How's that for contradiction?
I suffer from that strange blend of confidence and doubt that seems to sustain those of us who haven't sold yet and those that have sold and are trying to stay successful in a competitive market. For example, I just received a contest entry in the mail. It was on the historical I'm finishing and I really thought that I might win the contest. It's a good book. Wrong.
The judges were kind and supportive. I hate that. I also would hate it if they weren't. I just wanted them to give me a glowing report on how wonderful my book was so that when the editor rejects it, I'm ready with my list of excuses why the editor was wrong. Now I have to make up my own excuses.
Why? Why do we put up with this pain and suffering? Because the chance for glory exists. This is a tough business but not an impossible one. I've seen people try and try and try and eventually, if you gut it out long enough, something magical happens. You publish.
While you're trying, you're learning. If you keep writing at a steady pace, you're learning a great deal. Keep going to meetings and conferences and you're networking. Listen to the feedback and you're polishing your craft. There is only one more ingredient that you need. Arrogance.
I know that it's not a nice word. However, without a bit of arrogance you won't get beyond the first rejection. Or you'll write books that are carbon copies of books already on the market. I don't think that critique groups are to blame for homogenizing the market. I think that a lack of confidence keeps authors from writing that risky book. The book they dream about.
So I examined all the notes on my contest entry. I spent the day being depressed then sat down and wrote this article to remind myself of the goal. I'm going to publish someday. Come criticism or praise. I'll just have to keep the balance of belief and the determination to improve in proper perspective. I hope that you can too.
Mara Fox lives in Fredericksburg, Texas. She's a full time mother of three incredible kids and an active volunteer for the American Cancer Society. She writes novels because she believes you should never put a dream away for another day. Silhouette Books published her first novel in 2004.
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